CHRISTMAS IS AS CHRISTMAS DOES AND BABY, CHRISTMAS "DOES" E'REBOTTY!!!!!

These are some things I, the rat, made as gifts this year for loved ones. It is really hard to sew with little rat hands, sniff, sniff.
We have a DIY letter sweater belonging to someone with the initials RBD, a pretty dress I sort of wanted to keep. The letter sweater was made just by sewing scrap pieces (cut to shape) on to an existing sweater purchased second hand. The dress was a thrift find, I then stitched theses weird paisley designs from a second hand sweater coming out of the pockets and all over the place.

This little boy knows that when you see some goats who have obviously strayed from thier Black Metal ways, you help them out. This is a good Christmas deed.




This lady knows that when you pose for a photo with your Christmas tree in the metro you remember to pop 'yo bling, bitch.



"HAVE A PUNK ROCK XMAS" - I don't know what this means. I think it has something to do with marketing and the seemingly fool proof plan that things sell better with the words "punk rock" attached. We hang this sign every year, it makes me laugh just like punk rock. Oh, but I do have to mention that it came from a pretty bad ass clanander (typo that stays) Nardwaur put out including wicked photos by Bev Davis.

Recipe:
Oatmeal Bake
(this is super awesome, I did try to substitute the egg for banana and milk for soya milk, not nearly as delicious)

Ingredients
1 1/2 cups of quick cooking oats
1/2 a cup of brown sugar
1 tsp. of baking powder
1/2 tsp. of salt
1/4 tsp. pf cinnamon
1/4 cup of melted butter
1/2 cup of milk
1 egg
3/4 tsp. of vanilla extract
(3 apples)

Hey! Preheat your oven to 350
And lightly grease (with margerine or butter) a 13" X 9" inch pan, homie!!!Grease yo pan!

Combine all your dry stuffs in a bowl(incl.sugar). Add your melted butter and stir until smooth. Now put that in your pan, it'll be a real thing layer. Then combine your milk, egg and vanilla, mix them up and pour over the contents you've spread in your pan.

Cook at 350 for 25 to 30min.

Every time I've made this I've sliced up 3 apples, skinned and cored and placed them on the bottom of the pan before adding the oats - yummy!

HOPE YOU HAD A PUNK ROCK XMAS.

The part in the story where I wish Solomon Gursky Was (were?) Here...

There's a difference you know, between a crow and a raven. So, when I walk by the murder out front my house (it's a big one too at least 100 if not more) it is my minds habit of labeling circumstance as other worldly symbolism and not Ephraim saying hello.
But really that is neither here nor there.

Books this rat decided to read before shredding into nesting materials for the co-morbid, albeit surprisingly optimistic, belfry which serves as her only true nest and home :

LIVER by Will Self
This book is really wonderful. It's a collection of short stories starring one of my very favorite organs, the liver. It's the first book I've ever read by Will Self and he's really freakin' good. I found the "mystery" in the last story a tad condescending but the language and context in which it was delivered made up for it.

THE DEATH OF BUNNY MUNROE by Nick Cave
I read somewhere that Mr.Cave initially intended for this to be a screenplay. He also said that he doesn't think any major movie production company would touch it now, because of it's depraved content. Hopefully, I will get the funds and organizational skills together to prove him wrong someday. I think it would make an amazing feature film, or even a drama series on HBO or something or something, or something...har har.
It's completely linguistically different from and the Ass Saw the Angel, reads much easier and is doable in 2 or 3 nights tops. It's really funny and sad and I imagine if it looked like something it would look like a color photo of a cracked Avril Lavigne cd case in a Brighton gutter adorned with wet pebble stones, used condoms and the carcasses of a half dozen Lambert & Butlers.

WE WILL BE FISH by JP King
Used to be able to get this online by googling it, hard to explain but worth getting your hands on for both the words and images.

I am still gnawing through SOLOMON GURSKY WAS HERE by Mordecai Richler and with every page turn experience emotion equivalent to finding a new lover who's everything you could have ever wanted causing your to ponder how you ever made it without them and how you were so ignorant as to not discover them when they'd be right in front of you all along...

Big beautiful Montreal, that's for you girl. You amaze me every day with your history, elegance, and sloppy sense of superiority. Sometimes you feel like home, but more often it feels as though I am courting you, convincing you to be mine...wooing you to commit...

And the rats story will continue. The adventures of the holiday season coming up (basically in the next two minutes or so) and further adventures on and off the campuses that have become this little rats new external home to follow in the coming days, months, years - will I ever NOT be in school???!!!!....