Hello Monkey, I have missed you so...

So first a headnote, prologue - whatever.
I have an idea - this blog has been meandering all over the place without much direction, or action actually. Similar to both the above sentence and it's author. Anyhoo - my sweet monkey - how abouts you and me write each other via this little blog?
Granted, the posts will be a little more intimate then originally intended - but I quite like the idea and what is this whole big fat life if not an experiment, where on the best of days you are the mad scientist and on the worst of days your'e a research monkey or lab rat? Or maybe that's vica versa?
Also, we should pepper these letters with soundtracks. Give us a 'lil sumthin for the ears then, gov? Maybe recipes too - here we goes...

My Dear Monkey,




I am doggedly pursuing my happiness and I miss you so very very much. This evening, I was wasting time on the internets - trying to find a piece of myself somewhere and lo, I came across this. I can't tell you how happy it made me to read your words, see your photos and listen to the music you are fancying. I suppose that isn't true - I could but it would take up the whole damn page and there are other things I would like to tell you.
So strange to write you this way because I am wanting to blurt out everything that has happened to me recently - but am acutely aware of the privacy lacking in this here forum. Which funnily enough is a big part of some things I've been thinking about lately. It's hard to get your voyeuristic fix on the computer when you delete your online presence. Believe me, shit has not been the same since giving the social networks a big fat pink slip with "I think you're the DEVIL" scrawled across it (for good measure). The time spent on such sites has fostered in me a desire, as I mentioned, to be a voyeur of ...well -myself. Why am I so preoccupied with seeing my reflection on this electronic screen? Says the blogger to the pot in betwixt them both picking on the kettle. It isn't even good enough to just see ourselves, no - we need to groom and cultivate who we are on the intergalactic super highway. Always keeping in mind that someone, somewhere is watching. What kind of existence is that my friend? And how would it change you internally if you couldn't exist without premeditating how you are perceived externally? Well, as it so happens some would theorize it ain't much different from the existence women have been living for the past, um... fucking forever.



(there are 4 parts - i highly suggest watching them all)

So Monkey, in my pursuit of happiness I say "Well self, the silver lining is that the narcissistic nature of today's internet culture is distributing the wealth of persecutive insecurity us women have been hoarding." Always the optimist, I am.

I am so pleased to hear about the tattooing and schooling, I have continued to excel in my academics. It is amazing but it's hard not to perceive my success and stability as a wedge between myself and everything I've ever known. Confidence really is a stain you can't wipe off. And I've learned people are very particular about what kind of dirt or stains they'll tolerate or accept.



Please tell Freedom Denied I love them and think they are rad. You could tell yourslef that everyday until my next letter too.
Yours in absentia,
Rats.