Listening to X and SEETHING....

What the fuck is wrong with you people? Seriously.
See this little rat here, well I have a bit of an unfortunate condition. I love and I love a lot. I am admittedly not the best at displaying some of the behavior people expect to receive from a rat in love, but what would you rather? A rat that will always love you and be there for you, try to do the best by you? Or a rat that will comfort you in really superficial ways and lead you to believe you are not accountable for the pain she incurs by proxy because of all your self-inflicted bullshit?
I know many of you think I am a preachy annoying little rat. I have been rightfully called self-righteous more than once. This missive will probably receive the same evaluation, but I am so furious, frustrated, angry, disappointed, sad and protective right now that I want people to read this and apply it to specifically my current/potential friendship or acquaintance with them .
I want to make a request and I hope all who read this can get something out of it. Could anyone whom I interact with do me a favor?
If you like many people have an inclination to make really irresponsible and irrational decisions just to maybe spice up your life with some super spicy drama, stop fucking doing that. Don't you see the havoc it creates in the lives around you? How can you exact a massacre and then request that victims of said massacre help you cope with the emotional and mental chaos you are suffering because you were an irresponsible douche? Do you not see how absurd and destructive that is?
This rat has a lot of baggage. Like a fucking lot. Do you ever see people transporting crab shells or produce on those little vespas in the Carribean? You can't even see the person maning the vehicle because there's this 5' by 5' foot mass orbiting them? Well, that is the visual representation of the baggage I carry around. Guess what? I can't hide it, not one bit - it's all around me hanging out all over the place. If I spend the time to get to know you you'll see it in the first few moments, that massive battered string of emotional fuck clanking and clamouring around me. Maybe it's because I can't standto be in a room with you and 3 other people for more than 20 mins, maybe it's because I told you what I was "really thinking", maybe it's becuase you've known me for more than oh, lets say a month but you'll see it there plain as uglymorningafteronenightstand day.
You can see that on me, and yeah like does attract like. This rat is doing her best to lock herself away from the public so as not to meet new ones. Maybe even get to where I can maintain the amount of like it has attracted to a managable number. But Christ on a crutch, if your whole schtik is drama after heartache, after overdose, after fight, after DRAAAAAMMMMA - just please, go away. You are right this rats life was once that but that was a long time ago. Every once and awhile I make a boneheaded move too. But that's not the mainstay of my life, trauma is no longer how the timeline of my life is marked. I aim to keep it that way...
Please, if you want me to love you. If you want to reap the benefits of my little rat freindship? Knock all that shit off. Jesus, just do it for yourself.
And if you can't, then just go away. Harsh, yes. Are you reading this going is she talking about me? I'm not even gonna lie - maybe I am. I wouldn't be putting this into a public forum if it was directed at one person only, right? But shouldn't YOU know that? I mean if your life is as above described then this little request for reprieve from exposure to that shitshow can't be your biggest problem.
I guess that's about it, oh and I can't wait to see you again!!! I've got the newest, juiciest gossip - you'll just never believe who diedliedcriedstarvedshotupsmokedcrackcheatedstolebeatdownbeatupsworegotsickgotcleanlostthierkidlostthierdogeatadick......XOXOXO... BARF.

Edit: I am also no longer on my medication.